For the last several weeks one of my sisters was living with us. It was a consequence for unwise and rebellious behavior. No phone except to talk to family. No internet. But you know what? A life of punishment doesn't fit my world view. I upheld the phone and internet rules because I respect my parents (and agree with those consequences). I also treated my sister like an honored guest. I was careful not to judge or lecture. I tried to make sure she wasn't too bored being stuck here. I went out of my way to make sure she had what she wanted to eat. I could have made it hell, but I didn't. My excellent husband was with me 100%. And...
I AM ANGRY.
Yea, I know my previous post was all about not being angry at my sibs. However, THAT post was about being angry at Satan for the lies he's spreading in my family. This post is about being angry at her for choosing to do something that was blatantly wrong in complete disregard of being treated like a human and a guest instead of a prisoner. It feels right, this anger. It doesn't feel good. In fact, when I dwell on it, my head starts to hurt. But it feels right. I'm thinking it's because it's okay to be angry, but it isn't okay to use that anger to fuel resentment and bitterness. So instead of pondering how angry I am, I've been focusing on doing what I need to do to make things right. More than one innocent person has been wronged, my sister has shown that she has no desire to be trustworthy, and it's going to take her a long time to pay back what she stole (not to mention that now she really is a prisoner at home). I guess when it comes down to it, I feel more sad than anything else. I love her and hate to see her wreck her own life (even as I'm angry with her for causing harm to my friends by stealing from them).
In the meantime, a different sister has come to visit me voluntarily. I didn't think she would, although I was hoping against all reason when I invited her. Then she surprised us all, said yes, packed a bag, and came with me! Woohoo! I hope she stays past the weekend, but if she goes home tomorrow, I'll still be glad to have broken through at least one barrier one time. It gives me a sort of balancing stone against the disappointment from my last visitor. God is good, all the time.
Oh, yea...Happy late Thanksgiving, too.